Why I’m washed up, a phony, and a hack

By - CTL
January 2, 2018

By Alex Wadelton, Consulting Creative Director and Writer.

I’ve worked in advertising as a creative for over twenty years.

Throughout that time, I’ve bluffed my way through thousands of presentations.

I’ve gone to hundreds of shoots and said a bunch of stuff that makes it sound like I know what I’m doing, but really is just a mild case of verbal diarrhoea.

I’ve conned countless clients into thinking I know what I’m doing.

I’ve fluked a whole bunch of awards.

I’ve even given advice to misguided people who for some reason believe that what I have to say is not a load of crap.

And every single time I sit down to a brief, I think the jig is up.

That all my ideas have dried up.

There’s no inspiration.

There’s no hope.

There’s just terror.

Terror that people will finally discover that I’m a fraud.

Terror that everyone will hate whatever ideas I think of.

Terror that I’ll have to find a new career, lose all my money, and have to find a way to feed my kids with home brand cans of tuna.

It’s not an ideal situation.

But it’s this terror that keeps me going.

Because this fragile ego of mine is the thing that makes me keep on pushing to do something that will continue to fool people into believing that I know what I’m doing.

And after all these years of fighting off this terror, I’ve come to a conclusion.

Terror is my friend.

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